31st March

An alter-ego can brek some ice,

Even when they’ve named it twice.

Wolves in Wales that’s a laugh,

But whit a wie tae get rid o staff.🐺

Brodie’s such a cute wee bear,

Ca him Deacon – ye widnae dare,

If Mama bear were thair.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Anither blast fae the past,

But it’s no gonnae last

Mair than a month or twa

Yon freezin wind will cease nae doobt

But mind an dinnae cast a clute

At least till May is oot.

30th March

Gaun yersel Mister Secretary

A man of substantial wealth,

But no very guid fir the health

O the folk whaer tryin tae park

Sill FREE says you,

As long as it’s efter dark.

Infections high,

But satisfaction’s low

Here we go, here we go, here we go

The clapping turns tae SLOW.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

A should hae heeded ma ain advice

An no tried tae light the BBQ

Mair than twice

For last night wis no very nice!🥴

An the night’s nae better.

HORRORSCOPE

Fir them wie a birthday this week

Try no tae end up seik

Even wie nae cooker an sink,

The week after next,

Ye’ll be in the pink.😎🥳

29th March

Wir oan oor wie tae Rothsey oh

If ye own the Auld Forge,

Ye dinnae hae the richt tae gorge,

Nor yer drink tae swill

That wid be at best a bitter pill.

Folk fae the West,

Thoucht Edinburgh best

An it wisnae fir the wages

Comin aw yon wie

In yon Dark Ages.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

The day will be bright an breezy

So ye can tak it easy.🌻

But as foretold oan yer favourite channel

Ye’d better grip yer brolly by the hanel,☂️

Tight, fir creepin in the night…⛈

Bloody murder will be aboot,🥶

Or at least that’s whit ye’ll shoot.😫

28th March

Between a Rock and a hard place,

Can gie ye ain sair face.

Anthrax Island aw aflame,

Turns oot there wis naebody there tae blame.

Solar panels oan yer house,

Can mak a soul aloof

Especially oan yer ceilin,

If like me ye’ve got nae roof.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Telt ye the weather widnae last😎

There’d be a nasty blast fae the past.🥶

Come Wednesday jist watch yer feet,⛷

Snaw, hail, rain an sleet.🌨⛈☂️☃️

26th March

Bakehoose in Dumfries

Looking for a piece

O the Burns action

They say a museum like in Ayr

Wid only cost a fraction

O yon prices there.

Bairns save the planet

Good auld John an Janet

Nae mair o Longannet.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

The sky is blue an so’s the Forth

We’re no used tae that

Lyin aroond like a big store cat.🐈

No a thing in motion,

C’ept the auld sun lotion

TILL WEDNESDAY COMING

Fir then aboot ye’ll no be bummin.😣

25th March

Ye couldnae mak it up

The ice in the North gets thicker –

Quicker;

Some say thit Cooncellirs dae tae.

Thir closin up the lums

Yon wicked set o bums

Are pittin yon fires oot

As the moontain screams an shoots,

“It’s far to cauld up here,🤧

Light yer fire, hae some cheer”!

AddNib’s weather WARNING

See A telt ye

As soon as the sun chairs came oot,

An the Spring bulbs an floers tak root,

An the shoaps hae nae kindlin left

O candles an coal thir bereft

Doon it comes!🥶

Weel mind thit the bums

Thit ye vote fir in May,👨‍🎓

Left the folk in the Heelands

On ice an dismay🥴

24th March

Chancer lor is oor hero

Tae squeeze the cost o livin

Taks yon fuel tax doon tae zero,

But wait, A must hae had a dream

Aw is no whit it wid seem

Nothin maks any sense –

Save ma soul, a mere five pence?

BB hawks a ring an no fir a bet

But tae ease aff that sweat

Fae a game played on Court

Avoidance maks nae sense

Noo we’re five pence deep in clover,

He can fill his wee Range Rover.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Yon barometer wis richt enough

Oor days are filled wie Spring like stuff🐣

An a bet ye say that A’m absurd

When A tell ye but mark ma wurd

Six days ra morra nae lamb will bleat🐑

Fir the forecast is for rain an sleet.🥶

23rd March

Four kidneys man ca’d Boab

Asked why he didnae hae a joab

“A kidney be bothered”.

Wild fires in Mallaig

Could reach as far as Ailsa Craig

Unless they put yon fires oot,

By the glorious 12th,

There’ll be nae grouse tae shoot.🥳

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Sun they say is wa tae wa

But “they” dinnae live in Leith

Ma washing hung

While the Spring burds sung

Aw day,

But the moisture didnae gan away.

Ca me a pirate if ye like,

Staying in ma car,

Doon by Leith there’s a har, a har!

22nd March

Aberdonians shift an shake

An no due tae that Viking quake

It’s mair tae dae wie oil

Thir bank’s aboot tae spoil.

Lib Dems ca soonds mair like a yelp

Cawin oor leader fir some help,

It’s no that they are braggin

Fae the back o yon bandwagin.

They jist want tae pay thir way,

Git ye tae believe in aw they say.😎

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Sweet sixteen ma barometer reads

Yon forecast for the day!🌻

At last we can announce,

That Winter’s gaun away –

Aye right.

What aboot that day A beg,

When rollin ma lovely Easter egg –

The day yon snaw came in a blast

An folk said “It winnae last”

An did, as long as ma plastercast.⛷

21st March

Going intae debt is somethin tae hate,

Unless like Kate,

Ye’d loads o chocolate.

Noo A’m no talking sleaze,

It’s the word oan the streets fae Belize.

But thir’s help in yon Chancerlors letter,

Ye’ll no be oan yer fetter

Better hurry, the Sunak the better.

Scotland’s tae shrink!

Some say it’s the drink,

Ithers say the speaker needs a Shrink.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

No muckle much tae say

Except it’ll be sunny the day

An ramorra tae.🤩

Ain day like anither,

Could ye ca that a clone?

Aye, A’m sure,

But A’ll still fin a moan.😫