Ye micht think A’m haen a laugh,

Cause A tak a Sunday aff

Though fae some type A may retire,

Ma chariot’s fit, an still oan fire.🥳

19th March

Talk aboot a partygate crasher,

That chap from Eton’s such a smasher

Trivial he ca’s the case,

Helpin Boris tae save face.

Pig transplanted intae human

A complete success it says,

If ye want tae live for sixty days.🥴

AddNib’ weather WARNING

We had it aw,

Yon day was braw,

Yet bluer still manana

But dinnae stare fir oer lang

An slip oan a banana.🤕

18th March

P&O or DP World seems aw at sea,

Says aw the same tae me

Jobs disappearin doon the Swanee.

Fish suppers

Hae ye oan yer uppers

Wie prices risin fae the deep

Like dolphin in a giant leap.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Doon by the Forth the day

Yon wind wid blaw ye away

The waves were crashing,

But ra morra’s smashin

Or so they say.🤪

17th March

Scots will nae longer hae tae mutiny

Or come unner scunnerin scrutiny

Wie a lifelong disability.

Methil an Buckhaven

Are the planet savin

Sae need for ye tae fas,

They’ve noo got hydrogen gas.😷

AddNib’s weather WARNING

A full moon shinin bright

In the middle o the night

Nae rain in sight for days tae come

At the park ye can sit oan yer bum

Unless like me yer auld,

An dinnae like the cauld.🥶

16th March

Hunter gathers in the hills,

Goin fir his thrills an spills

Eats whit he can pick or kills.

Wis he the troublemaker

Banned fae trains?

A think they ca’d him Hector,

Or wis that the fella in the suit,

Yon BR fare collector?

AddNib’s weather WARNING

A hope ye did as ye were telt,

Fir the day is gonna pelt.

An mind the morn tae pay attention

Hing oan every word a mention!👨‍🎓

15th March

Tae plant yer ain tatties

Ye’ll find thir’s a queue

Enough tae mak the air turn blue.

Aurora maks yon news agin,

As seen by a Heelander,

Pittin oot the bin.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Light clood an gentle breeze,

A perfect day fir dryin

Has a person oan thir knees

An sheets and toowels a flyin.🧗‍♂️

14th March

Rodder used tae patch yon road

Tae tak his car tae its abode.

Cabbagepatch just misses oot

Wid seem that Will’s the best,

Withoot a doobt.

Martians noo r ne’re seen,

Seems it Scots thit turn green

When they’re oan reform.🤑

AddNib’s weather WARNING

The morn should be fine an dry,

But if yer shoppin ye’ll need tae fly

Cause the efternin brings buckets

Unless yer in Nantucket

They use pails

When nae oot catchin whales.🌦

12th March

Aw in the line o duty

Schoolboy scores a beauty.

Steamin oan the River Clyde

Yon day wie Hairy Mary

Brings back memories indeed,

Maist o them quite scary.

Gies the shipyard sic delight

Yon Islay ferries oot o sight

O hand an brain

Yet oan that River Clyde there’s nane.

Addnib’s weather WARNING

Keeks like rain the day,

Or maybe wind tae cause the probs

Dependin whir it’s comin fae. 😷

11th March

Ref welcomes leader back tae the fold,

Whae err thought a ref wid dae

As they were told?

Langholm’s heid still in the clouds,

Armstrong clan they ca aloud.

Castlemulk’s nae need tae sulk

Soon be buying messages in bulk.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Spring is sprung A heard it sung,

Winter’s oan it’s way,

Well rest assured it might be,

But certainly no the day!🤧

10th March

Chancer llor faces tough ca

Afore headin tae the ba

Whether tae choose the caviar

Or nae dinner at aw

Schoolboy pitches water bottle

At a room fu o MSPs

“And is it pure” ain’s heard tae ask,

Reachin fir his silver flask.

Twa thoosand books in a skip

Enough tae mak yon writer flip,

In case yin’s ain o their’s-

But surely no?

Local hero movie maker

Becomes a mover an shaker

Does it aw withoot a blip –

Jist keep yer een oan yon skip.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Light cloud an fresh breeze

Can still hae a pensioner oan thir knees

If they gan withoot a scarf

Folk’ll say thir haen a larf

While ithers whisper

“Big galoot

Probably thinks that May is oot.”🥶