21st May

Museums of Scotland celebrate

Wie somethin ye love,

Or somethin ye hate

But tae find oot ye’ll hae tae wait.

PM and Sue Gray meet oan the quiet,

Wonder whit that’s aboot?

Maybe thir diet?

Wine, canapes –

Or beer perhaps?

AddNibs Weather WARNING

A high o 14° degrees

Will no exactly hae ye oan yer knees.

A low o 11°

Isnae exactly Heaven

But dinnae despair,

June is nearly thare!

20th May

If ye fancy a late nicht oot

Ye’ll no git the train, withoot a doobt

Nae worries there though,

The Charmer’s blawin her flute.🐍

Twa hunner signed up for gowf

Ithers think it somewhat bowf

Rather keek it fae thir howff.

Nation keeps Mary’s casket

Oer dear? Ye’ll need tae asket.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Ain wa fell doon

An by three the day in this fair toun

Ye better watch ye dinnae droon.

19th May

Bogie Betty dis her round

Wie slippers only an inch fae the ground,

A wary an a scary tale

Aw the wie fae Carbisdale.

Third time lucky

Micht mak the Borders plucky

An the Cooncellor prood

Tae be a Borders Cooncil dude

Effect an innings that aw will remember

Even though it will end by September.😥

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

At last the Orb goes wa tae wa,

Na cloods, nae wind, nae rain at aw!😊

Tae the beach ye’ll aw be filin

Except fir those, like moi, whae hate tae be bilin

We’ll no be smilin.😫

Have a nice day!🗽

18th May

Swinger dis 36 hoors in ain go,

Fairly pittin oan a show

Whilst bairns waitin oan thir shot,

Think the hale thing toffee rot.

Borders Cooncil tae fix thir highways,

Repair the tar oan aw the byways,

“Withoot pitfalls or potholes”,

A thing cyclists cannae thole!

Bit whit aboot the Borders bairns?

Fir years they thoucht folk wirnae carin

When thir trikes cam asunder

Oan the Borders fancy hunder!

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

No a bad day the day,

Though the cloods hanae gain away

An neither his manky May.

A micht be wrang,

But dis Manky May soond like a sang?

Weel ma guitar string jist went twang!

17th May

Greedy angel taks its share,

Leavin Glenfarclas cupboard bare

PM admits surprise

That Brexit has him up tae his eyes

In Irish muck an glaur

Bet he wishes that wis oer.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Shrouds o clouds and gentle breeze

Will hae ye oan yer knees

Prayin fir a glimpse o sun

Slapping suncream by the ton

But dinnae hud yer breathin,

Or ye’ll just end up seethin

An still sittin freezin.

16th May

Easy gien bonus

Cause it pits the onus

Oan thir cabin crew

Whae mair an mair prefer the bru.

He’s nae fool

Keeps his cool

Haen 16 simmits

Seems he has nae limits.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Ne’re cast a cloot,

Or yer wellies ya big galoot,

Fir the East will keek like West

Sae dinnae gan oot in yer vest

Working far hame micht be best

Unless yer a servant civil

Whae’s use tae lots o drivvel.

Some say West is best
But A go wie the rest
Next time A will refuse
Tae live in a constant deluge
Even the news
Is hardly worth much
Except yon meal last night,
Thank God A’m goin Dutch.
Sae the bulletins will hae tae be cut
An the newsroom firmly shut
Till yer man can get back tae the East
An present ye wie anither great feast
O news in brief
Maistly fae Leif.

10th May

Andy’s Munro’s oan the go

Fir a $195 million she puts oan a show

Fuel poverty strikes the lowest paid

That’s a surprise the Chancerlor said

Didn’t know that at all

Perhaps they’ll not get to the ball,

In aid of the funds for that Warhol?

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Wa tae wa showers

Disguise aw the flowers

That we ca oers

It’s just a well the thistle

Can blew it’s ain whistle!

9th May

Ross disnae gie a toss,

Says he’ll stay as leader

Get the bairn that new feeder

It’s sic a greedy bleeder!

Airline taks seats fae craft

Gien nair staff the redundancy draft

A move decided by a clown,

Lost only them that wir sittin down.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

In the East mere pitter patter,

In the West it’s splodge an splatter

If yer hame it disnae matter,

Sittin aroond an haen a natter.

But heed ma WARNING

Stay oot the fridge

Or ye micht get fatter!

7th May

Tories tak a hammering

PM left stammering

“Sae whit’s new?” asks you.

Tis no lang till he’s oan the bru.

Starmer’s a richt warmer

Quaffin an laughin they say,

Keeks like a queue at the bru the day.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

If ye dare wear yer Foster Grant’s

A skimpy tee an skinnier pants

Yer sure tae come asunder.

A’m no sayn it will thunder, quite,

But ye’ll gie folk an awfie fright

Fir the cloods the day will mak it feel like night.