Centrica post profits 3 times mair

Than whit they posted yesteryear

Whae says opportunity disnae knock

Gaun post it through ma letterbox

Instead o yon Sheriff’s letter

Haen me taen awa in an iron fetter.

SNP gan keekin fir a leader

Pity help the bleeder

Sae much dribble,

Micht hae tae wear a feeder.

Yon rise no big enouch fir the EIS

Weel it kens best,

A teaching degree scrivven oan its vest.

An yin day rolls oan tae the next

Wie soaring profs fir some

An ither prof cast oan its bum

While we sit waitin in the wings

Until anither hopefu cuckoo sings.

Things gan better wie Shell

Unless yer auld an died o hypothermia

Undiscovered fir weeks

Leaves an awfie smell

An a bad taste in yer mooth

Enough tae gie shareholders a drouth

That’s only quaffed by champers

An aw nicht party pampers

The fa o Rome taks money shapes

Maist o them hidden by yon silken drapes

Corruption, perversion, greed an bile

An whit maks it aw the mair vile,

Tis a failing circus covered by yin smile.

Take your pick on Lulu.com, Barnes & Noble or Amazon.

For further info alanfpaddison@gmail.com

Thank you for your patience. All eight novels are now for sale on Lulu.com in paperback and ebook format.

Be aware that I have changed the name of book 7, Beyond Good and Evil, to Polis & Poltergeist.

Book 9, The Weaver’s Daughter, will be joining the collection on Lulu.com in early February this year.

If anyone requires further information regarding purchasing the novels or wants to know more about content etc please get in touch at alanfpaddison@gmail.com

Kindest regards, Alan

I hope you’ve not over indulged oer much this Christmas and are looking forward to the New Year.

I wanted to let you know that thanks to my great friend Al Wilson I now have a new publishing platform, LULU. At the moment my first three novel, Justified Sinner, Treaty Of Union and Shaking Hands with a Tarantula are on their site so just pop LULU into your search engine and you’re there and you’ll find them for sale. Through time they will also be distributed to other sites such as Amazon, Barnes and Noble etc.

Al and I are working hard to get the other novels for sale soon so please bear with us.

That only leaves me to wish you all a very Happy Ne’er Day and all next year through.

Alan

Some say “Merry”

Ithers “Happy”

Yet ithers say nowt

Sittin boozin at the nappy.

A smile is aw it taks

Tae brighten up oor day

Turn yon Christmas Gremlins away

An a smile is whit A give

Ne’re tell ye how tae live,

Nor what tae say or how tae say it

That smile that A ask

Will turn this world around

An like yon child in the manger

Hae ye sleeping sound.🌝

O Rich eh O winnae budge

Sittin at the tellie eatin fudge

“Darling could you check the till?”

“It’s awright Rich eh O,

We still have 730 mill.

Musk steps doon that far

“Boss, ye were heading for a star,

Jist cause some say ye’re a nutter

Tak yer bonnie eye aff yon gutter –

Keek aince mair up tae the sky

See yer comet soaring by.”

“Listen Bud, tis but a meteorite

Crashing doon tae earth

A dirty disillusioned chunk,

Wie a debunked clunk.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Twa forecast that a huv

Oan this very phone A luv

The first is oan the frontispiece

Ye’ll need tae wear yer fleece

It says rain wa tae wa will fa

But wie ain flick o ma trigger finger

The rain it disnae linger

For twa pages in’s the BBC

Proper English cast

It says yon rain it winnae last

So whit’s a forecaster tae dae

A ken,

Hoy the bloody phone away!

Tis gone.😴😴😴

Bonnie Charlie sees his face

Reflected in the notes he holds

Every minute in every place

As the Oracle foretold

Countin his cash at the end o the day

Oer an oer that face will ne’er gan away

Camilla says it’s just twa muckle

An haes a chuckle

Whilst tucking in tae Cornish truckle.

Yon ballad o that bloke ca’d Elon

Ended as the tragedy unfolds

He fa’s

Despite the piles o dosh he holds

Nane wie a picture o Charlie the King

They were heard tae sing

Afore they twittered

An jigged the Heeland fling.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Met men say 2023 will be bilin

Well no quite like that

Even hotter than 22 it’s true

Ain said, afore gan doon wie the flu

Per chap might miss his office party

Let’s wish him tae be hale an hearty

An try tae cheer him up

His condition maks him quite a boor

Every forecast rather dour.

Dowdy not is Dowden

Pleading wie they nurses no tae strike

A tricky wee second job

Worth an extra few bob

Taen his tak hame pay

Tae £155,000 a year –

£500 a day buys some beer

An fairness fas oan yet anither deaf ear!

Here’s yer chance tae vote fir Musk

Better tae pick up yer moothie

Gan oot an busk

An sing the ballad o per Elon

Sang tae the tune o Get it On.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Soaring temperatures tae hit UK

Aw yon snaw hae gan away

Sunglesses an sandals oot the day

At last the Warming hits oor shores.

Ne’re mind the blue Azores.

Book fir somewhere nice an warm

Burntisland or Kinghorn.🏄‍♀️🚣‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

Ca me gullible

Flubalubable

Yon former Bank o England boss

Yet anither that disnae gie a toss

The Climate Change Advocate

Talks big oan leaves an twigs

Then sells them aff fir plunder

An banks anither few hunder

Thousand $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Brazil con Carney’s

Too hot for ma taste

Anither bloody forest laid waste!

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

They say it’s gonnae snaw the day

If the forecasters hae thir say

A just wish it wid go away

Let opportunity knocks

An bring oan that long awaited

Equinox!🤹‍♂️