20th April

Uranus is a must

Fir science says it’s boom or bust

But it’s hard tae get yon umpteen miles

An it’s gie sair oan the piles.

Scottish Power

Says that the guid times are oer

Says we’ll suffer damage.

But AddNib’s sure they’ll manage.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Mair sun than cloud

Ye cry aloud

Fair chuffed it’s gettin warm

But dinnae forget yon midges,

It’s no lang till they’ll swarm.🦟

19th April

Whilst ensconced upon his throne

Rees dictates a civil word from home

“There shall be no home working,

As I feel that you are shirking!”

Nicola gets a telling aff,

Bet the polis had a laugh –

Thinkin oan yon TV gaff.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

The temp’s still goin up an doun,

Disnae haud yon tourists back

Fae fillin up oor toun,😎

Och, whits wrong wie that, it winnae last,

No if we could just hae ain mair Arctic blast.🙏

18th April

Morgan oan the organ

Plays that same auld tune,

Life’s a farce, but whae’s the arse,

Yon round aboot goin roon and roon.

An noo A’ve got tae ask,

A mask, or no a mask?

That is the question.

Whether it is nobler oan the neb,

Like yon guid civic pleb Ian,

Or a leader withoot a feeder

Tis better oer the gob?

Suppose depends yer job.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Nowt much tae moan aboot,

It does appear oor Summer’s takin root.

Unless like moi ye’ve got a fever

As cutters come wie scythe an cleaver

An pollen taks aff in the air,🌻

Leaving yer ned an eyes richt sair.🤧

14th April

Better tae be hung fir an eagle as a lamb

Yon cullin MP, whit a bam

Whit job is his? A sham!

Oh dear a fine,

Fir drinkin wine –

Whilst wie Majesty,

We bury yours an mine.

Lib Dems mak a pledge

No tae sit oot oan the windae ledge

But tae the fray be first

A wonder if they hae a thirst?

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Na sicht a guid day for bowlin

At the local bowlers’ nuik

As weel yon twelve will no be tholin,

Brousin oer a worthy book.😊👍❤

11th April

Le pen is mightier than Macron,

Aye right far right, let’s bring it on!

Buckley an Redmayne Oliviers keep,

Efter they’ve gien the theatre a sweep.

Actin’s takin such a dive,

Sweep the boards tae stay alive.

Life of Pi taks its toll,

But whit aboot a Greggies sausage roll?

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Since graftin far hame

Each day seems the same

An the barometer’s taen a dive

Yer meteorologist’s barely alive,

Keekin oot at the midden –

As well A’m only kidding.🤪

Ayways here tae dae yer biddin.😇

9th April

Certain status does a bomb,

Payin yer tax like a guid non-dom

The Chancerllor will be chuffed

The wife perhaps a wee bit huffed.

Swearin mair is aw the rage,

If yer o a certain age

Gien yon laldy Fs wie glee

Awricht if ye come fae Dundee.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

No happy wie the BBC

Yer forecaster went oot efter tea

Tae the tap o Arthur’s Seat

An looked across the sky an toun,

Dis that mak him a weather bloon?🎈

8th April

Scotland’s isles give a baby’s name

Whit if done when yer oot the game?

Yon bairn wid hae nae luck

If ca’d efter the Isle o Muck.

How aboot rejuvenated skin

If yer auld yer bound tae win,

An ancient soul intae new skin cram,

Wid that be mutton dressed as lamb?🐑

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Yesterday’s forecast came tae nowt

Yon sun arrived, an worse, stayed out.🥴

But please A beg, dinnae blame me,

Blame the yins at the BBC!🗣

7th April

Plans fir nuclear energy💎

Boost yon North Sea oil industry,🎩

No quite a Greta synergy.🥴

Dyno’s end is summat tae avoid,🦴

But how dae ye avoid an asteroid?☄

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Rain the day will be gien it pelters,

Enough tae extinguise aw the smelters.

April showers ne’er fail,🌧

Except ra morra, prepare for hail.🌨

6th April

Guid excuse fir a gin an tonic🍸

UK’s gaun tae be hypersonic,🚀

Aw except the Manchester yins –

Tickets fir Barbados in the bins.✈

Ministers review fracking,🍾

Is enough tae send one packing,🏇

An ye’ll nae be alone –

Life in an Earthquake zone!😫

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Aye, the days are still dreich

Till later in the week.

But dinnae hud yer breathin,

Or ye jist micht end up seethin

Like yon Beatles, scream an shout,

If ma forecast turns tae nowt.🤧

5th April

Derby cleaneruppers tak a brek,

Crumbs, they’re up tae thir neck

They called, no kennin whit else tae do,

“Let’s hae a proper brew.”

140 polis stations shut

Talk about cracking a hard nut

They’ll ne’er find the 4000 trainers now

Or no until they come hame wie yon cow.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Weel whit mair can A say

Aboot this manky day?

It will be phishing (somewhat unpleasant)

Even for a struttin pheasant.🦜

Even emojis can be inappropriate

When ye’ve slept in and yer late.🥴