4th April

A wake before a send-off

Seems awright if ye’re a toff

Swillin back the drink the nicht afore

If ye work ahint closed door.🎈

Penny Black is at it agin,

Gies a richt slap oan the chin

Tae scrivvers withoot email

Micht be time tae start a pmail.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Shall A compare ye tae a Summer’s day?

Nut.

Yon Winter hasnae gaun away.

Of which ye should hae kent,

Yon sun🌞 hae gaun an went.🌧

2nd April

Little dears save little terns

Protect yon nests amongst yon ferns

Could teach ain an aw a thing or twa.

Hidden camera in a hidden nest

Could catch ain in ain’s vest

But privacy law can be tweaked

If ye’re tailed and beaked.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Brodie felt yon winter blast

But his mither roared it widnae last,

Slidin oan yer bum – ☃️

Yet worse wis still tae come.

When the snaw doth melt

Ye’ll hae midges in yer pelt.🦟

HORRORSCOPE

Fir those whae hae a birthday

It micht be mair than ye can handle,

If yer oer auld tae blaw oot the candle.

1st April

He’s nae April fool,

A pay poke tae mak ye drool

An oor Leader in the lanyard

Announces it is standard

In a shipyard

£3000 a day for pay.🤪🥳😎

Another Leader’s holidays,🍾

Kept private aw they years,

Exhibited fir aw tae see

Micht bring some joyfull tears

Tae some,

Mobilly upward goes the thumb.👍

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Announced the day,

March can be sunnier than May

Loads an loads o flowers.🌻

But beware yon April showers!⛈☂️

31st March

An alter-ego can brek some ice,

Even when they’ve named it twice.

Wolves in Wales that’s a laugh,

But whit a wie tae get rid o staff.🐺

Brodie’s such a cute wee bear,

Ca him Deacon – ye widnae dare,

If Mama bear were thair.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Anither blast fae the past,

But it’s no gonnae last

Mair than a month or twa

Yon freezin wind will cease nae doobt

But mind an dinnae cast a clute

At least till May is oot.

30th March

Gaun yersel Mister Secretary

A man of substantial wealth,

But no very guid fir the health

O the folk whaer tryin tae park

Sill FREE says you,

As long as it’s efter dark.

Infections high,

But satisfaction’s low

Here we go, here we go, here we go

The clapping turns tae SLOW.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

A should hae heeded ma ain advice

An no tried tae light the BBQ

Mair than twice

For last night wis no very nice!🥴

An the night’s nae better.

HORRORSCOPE

Fir them wie a birthday this week

Try no tae end up seik

Even wie nae cooker an sink,

The week after next,

Ye’ll be in the pink.😎🥳

29th March

Wir oan oor wie tae Rothsey oh

If ye own the Auld Forge,

Ye dinnae hae the richt tae gorge,

Nor yer drink tae swill

That wid be at best a bitter pill.

Folk fae the West,

Thoucht Edinburgh best

An it wisnae fir the wages

Comin aw yon wie

In yon Dark Ages.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

The day will be bright an breezy

So ye can tak it easy.🌻

But as foretold oan yer favourite channel

Ye’d better grip yer brolly by the hanel,☂️

Tight, fir creepin in the night…⛈

Bloody murder will be aboot,🥶

Or at least that’s whit ye’ll shoot.😫

28th March

Between a Rock and a hard place,

Can gie ye ain sair face.

Anthrax Island aw aflame,

Turns oot there wis naebody there tae blame.

Solar panels oan yer house,

Can mak a soul aloof

Especially oan yer ceilin,

If like me ye’ve got nae roof.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Telt ye the weather widnae last😎

There’d be a nasty blast fae the past.🥶

Come Wednesday jist watch yer feet,⛷

Snaw, hail, rain an sleet.🌨⛈☂️☃️

26th March

Bakehoose in Dumfries

Looking for a piece

O the Burns action

They say a museum like in Ayr

Wid only cost a fraction

O yon prices there.

Bairns save the planet

Good auld John an Janet

Nae mair o Longannet.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

The sky is blue an so’s the Forth

We’re no used tae that

Lyin aroond like a big store cat.🐈

No a thing in motion,

C’ept the auld sun lotion

TILL WEDNESDAY COMING

Fir then aboot ye’ll no be bummin.😣

25th March

Ye couldnae mak it up

The ice in the North gets thicker –

Quicker;

Some say thit Cooncellirs dae tae.

Thir closin up the lums

Yon wicked set o bums

Are pittin yon fires oot

As the moontain screams an shoots,

“It’s far to cauld up here,🤧

Light yer fire, hae some cheer”!

AddNib’s weather WARNING

See A telt ye

As soon as the sun chairs came oot,

An the Spring bulbs an floers tak root,

An the shoaps hae nae kindlin left

O candles an coal thir bereft

Doon it comes!🥶

Weel mind thit the bums

Thit ye vote fir in May,👨‍🎓

Left the folk in the Heelands

On ice an dismay🥴

24th March

Chancer lor is oor hero

Tae squeeze the cost o livin

Taks yon fuel tax doon tae zero,

But wait, A must hae had a dream

Aw is no whit it wid seem

Nothin maks any sense –

Save ma soul, a mere five pence?

BB hawks a ring an no fir a bet

But tae ease aff that sweat

Fae a game played on Court

Avoidance maks nae sense

Noo we’re five pence deep in clover,

He can fill his wee Range Rover.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Yon barometer wis richt enough

Oor days are filled wie Spring like stuff🐣

An a bet ye say that A’m absurd

When A tell ye but mark ma wurd

Six days ra morra nae lamb will bleat🐑

Fir the forecast is for rain an sleet.🥶