You really will need to bolt the doors and lock the windows before settling down with this Scribe’s tale.

I was fortunate enough to spend some time this week with two good mates: Tam, probably the best Engineer in Ayrshire, and Big Al, the man who makes sure my stories reach the world.

Those meetings reminded me of the importance and value of friendships shared in real time, there was nothing virtual about them except the moment I virtually peed myself laughing.

Thanks lads!

One avid JP Associates fan enjoys a refreshment in the Shore Bar with the author on his first tour. Andrea loved every minute as she discovered where her favourite characters hang out and all about the Leith they inhabit.🕵️‍♀️

Old habits die hard. Five to five in the Shore Bar and their chairs remain empty but come five o’clock Bob and Tod will take their usual seats. They’ve something to discuss and his name is Tamworth Shaw.

Beasty caught red-handed

Wie drugs that wirnie branded

An a poke o chips wie vinegar an salt,

Oan the M74 the polis ca’d a halt

Tae that kinda thing,

Anyin wid think it wis Spring.

Scotland’s politics in disarray.

Aw the fundins gaun away

So’s the folk that count it.

Last seen heading doon the M74

Wie a poke o chips an somethin more.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Any chance ye hud

O savin oan yer heatin, forget it bud.

The thermo in the ha says -1

A’m pennin this in fingerless gloves, noo that’s nae fun…A can tell ye!

This is causin pandemonium,

Think I’ll go tae a condominium…

In Florida!

Coming soon to an armchair near you. A story of monks, nuns, abbots, abbess, kings, princes, warriors, laymen and Dracula! Set in 7th century Northumbria the Scribe will take you on a journey into unknown territory, a journey that for some meant no going back.

Raab says he isnae a bully

An he means whit he says, truly.

Ye see he learned fae the best

How tae lie through yer vest

Silk vests muffle sound

Better even than a Boris round

O drinks that ne’er happened.

A see a nice wee island’s fir sale

A measly huner an fifty grand

An nine miles awa fae land

Whit aboot a Scottish Alcatraz

Wie drink an blaff an aw that jazz

Extended holidays fir forked tongues

Naebody aroond tae gie ye bungs?

Aye, a scribe can only but dream.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Wa tae wa sun till 11 o’clock

Then ye can discard yer 50 sun block

An howk oot the mouldy brolly

The efternin is no sae jolly!

Centrica post profits 3 times mair

Than whit they posted yesteryear

Whae says opportunity disnae knock

Gaun post it through ma letterbox

Instead o yon Sheriff’s letter

Haen me taen awa in an iron fetter.

SNP gan keekin fir a leader

Pity help the bleeder

Sae much dribble,

Micht hae tae wear a feeder.

Yon rise no big enouch fir the EIS

Weel it kens best,

A teaching degree scrivven oan its vest.

An yin day rolls oan tae the next

Wie soaring profs fir some

An ither prof cast oan its bum

While we sit waitin in the wings

Until anither hopefu cuckoo sings.

Things gan better wie Shell

Unless yer auld an died o hypothermia

Undiscovered fir weeks

Leaves an awfie smell

An a bad taste in yer mooth

Enough tae gie shareholders a drouth

That’s only quaffed by champers

An aw nicht party pampers

The fa o Rome taks money shapes

Maist o them hidden by yon silken drapes

Corruption, perversion, greed an bile

An whit maks it aw the mair vile,

Tis a failing circus covered by yin smile.

Take your pick on Lulu.com, Barnes & Noble or Amazon.

For further info alanfpaddison@gmail.com