28th April

Chancerlor says helping folk is silly,

Tis better tae go hungry, willy-nilly.

Keekin forit tae the weekend,

Loads and loads o dosh tae spend.

Teviothead is head o it’s time,

Haen a man o colour,

Teachin maths an rhyme

Wish he had been mine!!!

Tom Jenkins man o repute,

A trail blazer, withoot a doobt.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Sand far the Sahara up yer nose,

Buy a camel, see how it goes.🐫

Azure blue fae wa tae wa

But watch yer camel disnae fa

Doon ain o yon trenches oan oor roads,

Tak a chance an see how it goes.

Like me nae doobt, humpty bump,

Tis nae wonder A tak the hump!🚴‍♂️

27th April

Oh oh P&O

Mind how ye go,

Or dinnae, as the case may be,

Forlornly lost at sea.

Vampire devices cost us dear,

Twa sharp teeth an a nasty sneer!🧛‍♂️

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Temp hardly higher than ten

No like the prices then,

Shooting up like rockets

A great big hole in wir pockets!

26th April

Heads cannae tak the strain

No enough dosh an twa much pain!👨‍🎓

Driverless buses

Will ca some cusses

Hae ye livin oan forlorn hope

That at yer bus stop they will stoap.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Be aware o canvassers,

In aw shapes an sizes

A received a letter fae ain

That looked like A’d won some prizes.

Whit a letter o introduction?

Fae a sucker oan full suction!

“Would you care to give your vote?

I care for you an awful loat.”

25th April

See, telt ye –

Macron est mightier than le Pen!

C’est time for a vacance,

But mind an use yer nonce

Watch how ye go;

Ye’ll no ken if it’s back or forward

If ye go wie P&O.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Keekin oot the widnae

A tee-shirt ye’ll want tae don,

But dinnae forget,

Yer central heating’s on.

Step oot that door withoot a coat,

Ye’ll be back inside

Faster than McGinty’s goat.🐐

23rd April

Sacre bleu il est trading taunts

Oan ain o le President’s jaunts,

Mots that winae come tae haunt –

J’espere!🙏

Isle’s boats are aging

Islanders are raging

Government is waging

Top dogs tae plug the gap.

Hope it’s no just an empty yap.⛴

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Blossoms are oot afore May

Bluebells are coming oot tae

Yon sun shines fae morning tae night,

Making a brek fir meteorologists jist right.

See ye Monday!👍

22nd April

Mickey stripped o special status,

Wonder where yon Bill wie leave us

Life in a techno cartoon?

Comin tae a tellie near you fairly soon.

By Eck a convention

Wie nae mair tae mention

Than an image in reflection –

Tis time for AddNib’s defection.🏃‍♂️

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Wild fires mair abundant

Risin tides o new incumbents

Keeks like yon Summer o discontent,

But worry not,

It shall be gaun afore it went.😊

21st April

PM stalls anither probe,

As he shoots aff roond the globe –

But no tae Uranus, the menace!

Persons unknown wie ears overblown

Seperate the noise o mammals fae fish,

Must hae lugs like a satellite dish.👂

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Suffers o the pollen

Twid appear that they hae fallen

Victim tae their itchy nose

Ain sneeze an panic in the ranks,🤧

Deserted withoot a bye or thanks.😷

20th April

Uranus is a must

Fir science says it’s boom or bust

But it’s hard tae get yon umpteen miles

An it’s gie sair oan the piles.

Scottish Power

Says that the guid times are oer

Says we’ll suffer damage.

But AddNib’s sure they’ll manage.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Mair sun than cloud

Ye cry aloud

Fair chuffed it’s gettin warm

But dinnae forget yon midges,

It’s no lang till they’ll swarm.🦟

19th April

Whilst ensconced upon his throne

Rees dictates a civil word from home

“There shall be no home working,

As I feel that you are shirking!”

Nicola gets a telling aff,

Bet the polis had a laugh –

Thinkin oan yon TV gaff.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

The temp’s still goin up an doun,

Disnae haud yon tourists back

Fae fillin up oor toun,😎

Och, whits wrong wie that, it winnae last,

No if we could just hae ain mair Arctic blast.🙏

18th April

Morgan oan the organ

Plays that same auld tune,

Life’s a farce, but whae’s the arse,

Yon round aboot goin roon and roon.

An noo A’ve got tae ask,

A mask, or no a mask?

That is the question.

Whether it is nobler oan the neb,

Like yon guid civic pleb Ian,

Or a leader withoot a feeder

Tis better oer the gob?

Suppose depends yer job.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Nowt much tae moan aboot,

It does appear oor Summer’s takin root.

Unless like moi ye’ve got a fever

As cutters come wie scythe an cleaver

An pollen taks aff in the air,🌻

Leaving yer ned an eyes richt sair.🤧