Author: Alan Addison

Before graduating in English Literature at the University of Edinburgh in 1995, I worked as a master joiner/carpenter. Following graduation from university, I studied for a post-graduate diploma in Community Education and worked as a literacy tutor in Community Learning and Development. I have gained education awards and published an academic paper on the use of Scots language in family literacy work. I have produced teachers' notes for the Scottish Book Trust. My first work of fiction, Justified Sinner, was completed in 2016. Since then I have published three more novels in the JP Associate series.

AddNib 65 11th May

Some say West is best
But A go wie the rest
Next time A will refuse
Tae live in a constant deluge
Even the news
Is hardly worth much
Except yon meal last night,
Thank God A’m goin Dutch.
Sae the bulletins will hae tae be cut
An the newsroom firmly shut
Till yer man can get back tae the East
An present ye wie anither great feast
O news in brief
Maistly fae Leif.

AddNib 64

10th May

Andy’s Munro’s oan the go

Fir a $195 million she puts oan a show

Fuel poverty strikes the lowest paid

That’s a surprise the Chancerlor said

Didn’t know that at all

Perhaps they’ll not get to the ball,

In aid of the funds for that Warhol?

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Wa tae wa showers

Disguise aw the flowers

That we ca oers

It’s just a well the thistle

Can blew it’s ain whistle!

AddNib 63

9th May

Ross disnae gie a toss,

Says he’ll stay as leader

Get the bairn that new feeder

It’s sic a greedy bleeder!

Airline taks seats fae craft

Gien nair staff the redundancy draft

A move decided by a clown,

Lost only them that wir sittin down.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

In the East mere pitter patter,

In the West it’s splodge an splatter

If yer hame it disnae matter,

Sittin aroond an haen a natter.

But heed ma WARNING

Stay oot the fridge

Or ye micht get fatter!

AddNib 62

7th May

Tories tak a hammering

PM left stammering

“Sae whit’s new?” asks you.

Tis no lang till he’s oan the bru.

Starmer’s a richt warmer

Quaffin an laughin they say,

Keeks like a queue at the bru the day.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

If ye dare wear yer Foster Grant’s

A skimpy tee an skinnier pants

Yer sure tae come asunder.

A’m no sayn it will thunder, quite,

But ye’ll gie folk an awfie fright

Fir the cloods the day will mak it feel like night.

AddNib 60

5th May

High street isnae deid

Merely minor cuts and internal bleed

Says the CEO

A faimly man in the know.

Spring hae shifted by three weeks

Accordin tae yon things wie beaks,

Hard tae mak thir siller,

Aince thir oot o caterpiller.

Noo they mak a different tweet,

An Spring lamb in Summer bleat.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Aye, seasons changin richt enough,

An no just the burds can fin it tough

Meteorologists tae are seik

Wondering if it’s noo or last week.🙄

AddNib 59

4th May

Hopes an fear

As elections draw near,

Or jist mair o the same

Wie naebdie tae blame

So mind an be kind

If e’er ain ye can find.

Big Yin does it again,

Lang micht his presence reign

A’d vote for him an aw,

An nae Cooncillor a ta!

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

May’s a richt washoot an cauld

Or is it A’m getting auld,

The joints and digits sair,

A cannae tak much mair –

A just wish A could fly

A’d shoot aff tae Dubai.

AddNib 58

2nd May

A murmuring o stars

Gather in the cafes an bars

In guid auld NY city

My they sure look pretty.💃

A trader caused the market crash,

Threw portfolio in the trash

Mistook it for his half chewed dog

Causin the index tae lose a cog.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Whit happened tae May?

The blessed sun hae gaun away

Splutter, choke, crash an fizzle,

Aw wir left wie, damp an drizzle.

AddNib 57

30th April

Ne’re mind aboot the weather,

Venus an Jupiter hae goat it thegither.

Ken whaer A’ll be headin-

Ayways preferred a Saturday weddin.💏

Chancerlor gans back oan his word,

Na, impossible, that’s absurd

MPs dinnae lie,

Or treat folk tae pie in the sky.

No like that bloke fae York,

Haen a tongue like a spiked fork.

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

The trouble wie rain the day,

Ye’ll no ken if it’s the dew o May

When ra morra ye bow yer head,

It micht be Sunday’s rain instead.🙄

AddNib 56

29th April

Lynx could be broucht back,🐈

So tak care if yer oot oan a track

Their favourite grub is walkers,

Game keepers an stalkers!👨‍🌾

No Mow May

Says leave yer grass the day,

An ra morra tae

An aw the floers will blossom

An micht help hide yon possum,

Or wis it a lynx ye’ll find?

Tae be honest, A cannae mind.🙄

AddNib’s Weather WARNING

Watch when hingin oot yer claithes

In yon bright an sunny days

Ye dinnae tred oan wild floers

Or disturb yon cat –

As in yer gress it coers.🙏