23rd March

Four kidneys man ca’d Boab

Asked why he didnae hae a joab

“A kidney be bothered”.

Wild fires in Mallaig

Could reach as far as Ailsa Craig

Unless they put yon fires oot,

By the glorious 12th,

There’ll be nae grouse tae shoot.🥳

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Sun they say is wa tae wa

But “they” dinnae live in Leith

Ma washing hung

While the Spring burds sung

Aw day,

But the moisture didnae gan away.

Ca me a pirate if ye like,

Staying in ma car,

Doon by Leith there’s a har, a har!

22nd March

Aberdonians shift an shake

An no due tae that Viking quake

It’s mair tae dae wie oil

Thir bank’s aboot tae spoil.

Lib Dems ca soonds mair like a yelp

Cawin oor leader fir some help,

It’s no that they are braggin

Fae the back o yon bandwagin.

They jist want tae pay thir way,

Git ye tae believe in aw they say.😎

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Sweet sixteen ma barometer reads

Yon forecast for the day!🌻

At last we can announce,

That Winter’s gaun away –

Aye right.

What aboot that day A beg,

When rollin ma lovely Easter egg –

The day yon snaw came in a blast

An folk said “It winnae last”

An did, as long as ma plastercast.⛷

21st March

Going intae debt is somethin tae hate,

Unless like Kate,

Ye’d loads o chocolate.

Noo A’m no talking sleaze,

It’s the word oan the streets fae Belize.

But thir’s help in yon Chancerlors letter,

Ye’ll no be oan yer fetter

Better hurry, the Sunak the better.

Scotland’s tae shrink!

Some say it’s the drink,

Ithers say the speaker needs a Shrink.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

No muckle much tae say

Except it’ll be sunny the day

An ramorra tae.🤩

Ain day like anither,

Could ye ca that a clone?

Aye, A’m sure,

But A’ll still fin a moan.😫

Ye micht think A’m haen a laugh,

Cause A tak a Sunday aff

Though fae some type A may retire,

Ma chariot’s fit, an still oan fire.🥳

19th March

Talk aboot a partygate crasher,

That chap from Eton’s such a smasher

Trivial he ca’s the case,

Helpin Boris tae save face.

Pig transplanted intae human

A complete success it says,

If ye want tae live for sixty days.🥴

AddNib’ weather WARNING

We had it aw,

Yon day was braw,

Yet bluer still manana

But dinnae stare fir oer lang

An slip oan a banana.🤕

18th March

P&O or DP World seems aw at sea,

Says aw the same tae me

Jobs disappearin doon the Swanee.

Fish suppers

Hae ye oan yer uppers

Wie prices risin fae the deep

Like dolphin in a giant leap.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Doon by the Forth the day

Yon wind wid blaw ye away

The waves were crashing,

But ra morra’s smashin

Or so they say.🤪

17th March

Scots will nae longer hae tae mutiny

Or come unner scunnerin scrutiny

Wie a lifelong disability.

Methil an Buckhaven

Are the planet savin

Sae need for ye tae fas,

They’ve noo got hydrogen gas.😷

AddNib’s weather WARNING

A full moon shinin bright

In the middle o the night

Nae rain in sight for days tae come

At the park ye can sit oan yer bum

Unless like me yer auld,

An dinnae like the cauld.🥶

16th March

Hunter gathers in the hills,

Goin fir his thrills an spills

Eats whit he can pick or kills.

Wis he the troublemaker

Banned fae trains?

A think they ca’d him Hector,

Or wis that the fella in the suit,

Yon BR fare collector?

AddNib’s weather WARNING

A hope ye did as ye were telt,

Fir the day is gonna pelt.

An mind the morn tae pay attention

Hing oan every word a mention!👨‍🎓

15th March

Tae plant yer ain tatties

Ye’ll find thir’s a queue

Enough tae mak the air turn blue.

Aurora maks yon news agin,

As seen by a Heelander,

Pittin oot the bin.

AddNib’s weather WARNING

Light clood an gentle breeze,

A perfect day fir dryin

Has a person oan thir knees

An sheets and toowels a flyin.🧗‍♂️

14th March

Rodder used tae patch yon road

Tae tak his car tae its abode.

Cabbagepatch just misses oot

Wid seem that Will’s the best,

Withoot a doobt.

Martians noo r ne’re seen,

Seems it Scots thit turn green

When they’re oan reform.🤑

AddNib’s weather WARNING

The morn should be fine an dry,

But if yer shoppin ye’ll need tae fly

Cause the efternin brings buckets

Unless yer in Nantucket

They use pails

When nae oot catchin whales.🌦